Parents bribe kids to stay away from drugs, alcohol

So many things bug me about this. It’s just sooo Hoover circa 2004.  I’m not a parent, and I suppose bribing your children is better than having them overdose or drive drunk, so I’m sure someone will tell me to shut up on that account. But I do have children in my life that I love very much, and I would hope that their parents (my sisters) would pursue an alternative to this. There are alternatives to this nauseatingly self-serving and mercenary system, right? (So mercenary, in fact, that two mothers have even built up a cottage industry around it, though they donate a dollar from each sale of their ‘kits’–which include a contract to sign and bracelets for the kids–to DARE).

What if I’m not wealthy enough to bribe my child? What if I’m so wealthy that $1000 wouldn’t be sufficient motivation? What if my children are morally bankrupt and they’d do drugs and drink and simply say they abstained? Speaking of abstaining, are anti-sex bribes next? (for girls only, I guess).

Conventional wisdom (well, this article and this one) says that abstinence pledges (which promise self-respect and/or God’s approval, not money) are relatively effective in the short term. Kids who sign them tend to have sex later. But when they do, they often don’t use birth control (i.e. they don’t exercise appropriate precautions). Could a similar phenomenon result from these bribes? Say the kid stays on the wagon until prom night his senior year, but since he’s never been taught ideas about moderation in drinking or using a designated driver (i.e. taking precautions) he does neither?

I think I’d prefer an ‘honesty’ pledge, that reads something like "I promise to be honest with my parents about my use of alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs and about instances when they are offered to me."  In return, the parents could explain rationally (without their checkbook) why reckless behaviors aren’t appropriate and how they can be harmful. The parents would know with which friends these experiences occurred, and take appropriate action. Yeah, that’d be a lot of work, though.

Anyway, as I said, I’m not a parent and I know these parents are acting out of love for their children, but I’d appreciate some other views on this matter–from parents and nonparents.

Crossposted at Local Tint

Sphere: Related Content