My weekly column was published today in the Wednesday (Prattville) Progress

Seeing as it will cost upwards of $300,000 to fix the hole in Cobbs Ford Road that developed during last week’s rainstorms, I have some suggestions for alternatives to repairing the roadway. A hole is just a hole, but there are plenty of moneymaking propositions that would bring out the true potential of this unfortunate circumstance.

First, we must make the whole more than just a hole. The void could be put to many uses. We could obviously fill it with water and make it a new public swimming facility, but that lacks a certain flair. Though if we dumped some fish in it could provide another location for the Bassmasters tournament in a pinch.

We could turn it into an underground lair for our own superhero. Now there’s an idea with some punch. We might have problems with recruiting for the post though. It’s a dangerous job and not many people have the necessary qualifications or the wardrobe anymore.

I’ve even heard some talk about turning it into the largest mud bath in Alabama for our brand new full service spa. The potential is really only limited by our imagination.

What about turning it into a tourist attraction? People already seem fond of ÿ having their pictures taken in front of it. Why don’t we expand on that theme and just amp it up a little bit?

We need a catchy name. It’s not a hole, it’s a cave, no a cavern! Yes, that’s it. Welcome to Prattville Caverns (though if you want to get technical there is only one cavern). We’ll need a big sign pointing the way and steps leading down into the caverns and back out. Maybe a winding staircase, to add to the experience. We’ll also need the appropriate lighting, candle-like light fixtures alongside the staircase seem appropriate.

Now we don’t want people to leave Prattville Caverns disappointed, so maybe we could bring some beauty to the experience. How about hiring local artists to paint murals in the caverns that depict the history of our city? There would be depictions of Daniel Pratt and the other forefathers of our city, telling the story of the city’s founding and events since. This would add some artistic value to their visit.

We’d also need a gift shop selling t-shirts and appropriate trinkets. We could make a fortune. Prattville Caverns sweatshirts, jackets, hats, pens, toys and everything else that any good tourist attraction provides. We could even have a cave festival once a year that would bring in additional visitors and allow the community to appreciate our hole in the ground.

It could redefine the city. No longer would be known as the “fountain city” or the “birthplace of industry” in Alabama. We could be “those crazy people who turned a hole in the ground into a cavern”. Now isn’t that something worth investing our time and energies into while we save a few bucks?

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